Hard Headed Youngsters – Minimized!
Parenting a teenager is way difficult than you thought. It’s like it’s in their natural world to talk back, stay out too late, and pierce their eyebrow during teenage years. And no parent has ever changed that.
Teenage year is a time of overall growth spurt. It’s like they are the boss and you just work for them. But don’t let it stay that way. Once in a while, you must get in the way with their behaviors. Just make sure you don’t hurt their feelings nor either act just like one of them in return.
Approach them appropriately and swig away those hitches and glitches in a fairly educated manner.
Hitch and glitch 1: Youngster’s Revulsion
Seems like it was just yesterday when they loved you so well, but what happened? The next day they started hating you. And they will hate you more if you don’t handle this. You’ve been through this before when she was a toddler, and you can do it again.
This is hard for parents, but part of adolescence is about being alone by themselves, and many kids need to snub their parents out to find their own identities. Normally, teens are peer centered.
Sometimes parents feel so hurt by their teens’ treatment that counter transference happens, which is wrong. Teens know that they still need their parents even if they can’t admit it. And how to handle this? As the parent, you need to stay calm and try to ride out this teenage rebellion stage, because it is normal.
But not until they reach 16 or 17, this should not be allowed for a long time. When this happens, you have to insist on basic behavior standards. The good, old-fashioned approach of: “If you can’t utter something kind, don’t say anything at all.” By letting your teenager know that you’re here for him no matter what, you make it more likely that he’ll let down his sentry and unburden your heart to once in a while, that’s an extraordinary treat.
Hitch and glitch 2: Technology Invasion
Recently, instant messaging, texting, and talking on cell phones make teens less communicative with the people they live with. Electronic devices when restricted are not only unrealistic, but unkind because networking with their friends is important to most teens.
Using technological devices is just fine if you know how to control. It’s probably best to lay off if your child is doing well in school and at home. You just have to set limits, such as no “texting” or cell phone calls during dinner. You can also try not to let teens have computers in their rooms, it makes it harder to control them or establish a rule that the computer has to be off one hour before bedtime, as a way to ensure that they get more sleep.
Try also limiting the minutes your teen spends on his cell phone by letting him pay his own cell phone bills. And do your best to keep an eye on your child does when he’s online, especially the networking sites like MySpace and Facebook. You’re still the boss – so check into parental Internet controls and software to monitor use of any questionable web sites.
Hitch and glitch 3: Forgotten Curfew
Are you tired of giving curfew that doesn’t work? That’s always a big problem on teenagers and ignoring curfew is normal for them. But that doesn’t mean you have to stop or give up, because honestly they still need that curfew, they just can’t admit it.
If your child ignores your curfew, maybe it is just so unreasonable. Try a survey around your neighborhood regarding what time they expect their kids to get home. Then set your curfew for your child, and give at least 10 minute break, if their still not home, then set your consequence.
But if your child seems to have no reason to stay out too late, or maybe they feel like not staying at home, then try talking about their reason why. When you make a rule, you have to stand for it. You can’t deceive teenagers – they will always call you on it.
Hitch and glitch 4: Strangers around your child
You make a face when you see your child with some kids you don’t like. It’s like you want to keep your child away from them, but that would be too harsh.
When your kids’ friends wear weird clothes, piercing, and act different, don’t criticize them directly because your child feels like being criticized too.
Apparently if your child keeps hanging with children who do drugs, then maybe you need to talk to him, in a non offensive way. Avoiding distrust, tell your child you’re worried about who he’s hanging out with and what they do. You can’t just stop your child from hanging with the friends he used to hang with, but do something to swig away those bad doings they do. For the better, consulting an expert about that is still the best thing to do.
Hitch and glitch 5: Bizarre thoughts
Daughters are emotionally unstable. They will appear happy then just after few minutes they would not and the more you try to help, the more she sobs or shouts or slams the door.
Well, that’s part of being a teenager. It’s like a mood swing. And it may seem like a drama to you, but for her it’s a big deal.
Parents are fond of belittling their child’s feelings. And the kids think they are misunderstood, which leads to not telling you anything. Boyfriends are big problems, especially when someone is flirting around, and you have to deal with it seriously.
Advices and reassurance that it’s going to be fine are non therapeutic, and so is mocking her friends. Sympathy and empathy are best. And you know that, because you’ve been there once.