White Lies Men Tell Their Wives
A boy is out on a date and an older girl from school, the head cheerleader, floats by. His girlfriend elbows him in the stomach and asks if he was staring and why, if he think the other girl’s hot. At this point, he cannot be more backed into a corner than when, well, when he was backed into a corner.
What does he do? He is a pubescent boy with his hormones raging out of control. Of course he was staring! Why?! Because he thinks the older girl is hot, why else!
But because he was taught by his mother to always be honest, and mostly because at this time he really didn’t know any better, he decided not to lie. So he mumbled yeah.
During the following school week, his girlfriend dumps him.
All men have discovered the importance of little white lies. Men consider them little because for them it’s really not such a big deal. And they are white because men think they are “safe” lies, innocent and without malice. So they whisper sweet nothings in their wives’ ears. About how great a driver his wife is. Or how he needs to play golf to keep fit but he will miss her. Or that he was not ogling the neighbor who just jogged past because his wife is way hotter.
Men tell themselves these are not really lies. They are just avoiding complications. These white lies may be without malice and may not seem like such a big deal to them, but to their wives, they are just confusing and sometimes even infuriating. What a woman would naturally think when she knows her husband is lying is maybe he is also lying about other things, bigger things. Or that maybe he is being sweet while lying because he is having an affair.
In the end, what was supposed to be a harmful lie causes more harm than good to the relationship.
To clear the air, so to speak, here are some private truths that your man may be hiding from you. But they aren’t all ugly; some are even sweet and some you’ve always known, and, yeah, some may just be plain insensitive.
Men lust for other women, but it doesn’t mean they will act on it and leave you.
It is just a natural reflex. Whether a man is with his girlfriend or wife or not, the urge to look at woman walking by is almost irresistible. It becomes impossible when the woman has the attributes that a man has a weakness for. So every time you ask your man if he was staring at another woman, well you should already know the answer to that. He is either staring shamelessly or just checking her out with his peripheral vision.
Your man knows that his checking out the merchandise will upset you, but these glances should not really threaten you. It is one thing to just look and an entirely different thing to act.
Men do need to get away sometimes.
In America every year, over 21 million men play at least one round of golf. And believe it or not, 75 percent of those stink at the game. The truth of the matter is, your man is probably not playing golf just for the fun of it. He just needs to get out of the house, get away.
The idea of commitment will never cease to be scary.
It is not a question of whether your man loves you or not. Or whether he thinks you are a great person to be with or not. Most of the time, your man won’t even lose sleep over spending all of his savings to put on a show for everyone to see when he makes his lifelong vow to you.
But unlike women, men did not spend their growing up years putting together a wedding book and dreaming of finding the perfect person they’d want to settle down and spend the rest of their lives with. As far as they can remember, they spent their time obsessing about the women of their fantasies or how many they could have sex with before they turn 30. And don’t forget, it takes men a very, very long time to get over this behavior.
Men want to be the moneymakers.
Women have come a long way from simply being housewives to being big moneymakers. It is now common in a lot of marriages for the wife to earn more than the husband. The husbands smile and try to be supportive. But the truth is men will always be shallow and competitive. When a woman is bringing home a fatter paycheck than the man, it hurts their ego. Yes it is sexist, but men feel more manly when they are earning more than their wives.
Men may protest but they enjoy being the handyman.
Husbands actually find it rewarding to fix things around the house. He may groan and complain when you ask him to grout the bathroom shower. But deep down, he feels proud that if he is not around to fix something, that thing would remain broken. He enjoys the feeling of being needed.
Most wives don’t realize that taking the trash out is just another task that husbands need to get done. To the husband, this is just a repetitive, mind-dulling, physical task that they rarely get thanked for. On the other hand, being asked to fix a broken hinge is considered by men to be an opportunity for them to use their hands and brains and be productive at home.
Men love to be mothered but they don’t want you to become your mother.
Husbands do love their wives more as the years pass.
It is general knowledge that men mature more slowly emotionally than women. With their very slow progress, it may seem to you at times that they don’t love you. It may take a few years before your husband will fully appreciate your mind and value as a person. It may take time, but if you can be patient, your husband will get wiser as he gets older, and will learn to love you more. The vows he made to you will start to sink in. Sooner or later, he’ll catch up with you emotionally.
Most of the time, men have no idea what you’re talking about.
It may be me embarrassing to admit, but women have deeper and more complex thought processes than men, especially when it comes to relationship issues. There are times when you want to have a serious discussion about your relationship with your man. And he nods in the right places, and gives you the appropriate responses, that he understands and he’ll do better next time.
The truth is, during these discussions, men have no idea what you are talking about. What you are saying doesn’t make any sense to him whatsoever. Most of the time, they are simply saying the things that they think you want to hear so they can get the discussion over and done with and they can go back to watching their basketball game.
Your husband gets scared when you drive.
Every time you ask your husband for the car keys when the two of you go out, he starts quivering deep down inside. Most men may be too diplomatic to say it, but they do get scared when their wives drive. And it does not help when the wife regularly tells him of her “car panic stories.”
Men will always wish they could go back to their youth.
It is a given, your husband loves being with you now. But it does not change the fact that there are times when he longs for and remembers those days when his life was good and easy, with no responsibilities. There are a lot of things he can get away with at 25 that he can’t get away with at 40. It is normal for him to miss the freedom of his youth but it does not mean that he will leave you to join a rock band. You may, now and then, hear him singing his favorite heavy metal rock song while in the shower.
If you give him his space, he’ll want to share yours.
In a young relationship, the biggest mistake a woman makes is throttling her man. You have to give him time to grow out of his single-guy habits. Let him act dumb, give him his poker night, encourage him to go surfing and let him go on his own once in a while. He will love you more for these and will make him see you as the person he would want to share the rest of his life with.